One man to another. “I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman; a woman who’ll make me happy.” “Make up your mind.”
Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman: Before Marriage and After Marriage.
Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’ Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears. He asks, solicitously, “So what’s bothering you, dear?” She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.” The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?” She […]
A man entered a tattoo parlor on the lower west side and wanted to get a tattoo. ‘What can I do for you?’ asked the tattoo artist. ‘Well,’ the man replied, ‘I want a $100 dollar bill tattooed on my danger.’ ‘I’ve never had that request before. Do you mind if I ask why?’ ‘Well, […]
A man came home from the Social Security Office. ‘Honey,’ he said to his wife, ‘I finally convinced them that I’m old enough to collect Social Security.’ ‘How?’ his wife asked. ‘Since the department of records in the small town you were born in was flooded, you can’t get a copy of your birth certificate.’ […]
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to […]