This Is Melvin

Posted by admin under Kids Jokes

Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework. “Dad,” he asked, “What is the difference between “anger” and “exasperation”?” “Well, son,” said his father, “I’ll give you a practical demonstration.” His father picked up the phone and dialed a number. “Hello,” said a voice at the other end. “Hello,” said Ernie’s father. “Is Melvin […]

No Comments

Dead For Ages

Posted by admin under Heaven, Hell

A man who had just died, arrived at heaven’s gate. Before allowing him entry, St. Peter asked him if he’d ever loved a woman. “No,” the man replied, “Not a single one.” “Did you have a friend you cared for?” “No.” “Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature?” “No.” […]

No Comments

Fast Dancer

Posted by admin under Men, Women

A young soldier who was on a twenty four-hour pass went to a dance in town and there met an attractive young woman. As they danced, he kept making passes at her but without much result. Finally, he said, “Look sweetheart, I really go for you in a big way. But I don’t have much […]

No Comments

Name Spellings

Posted by admin under Indian Jokes, Teacher Jokes

A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the first time and she asked him his name. “Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah,” he said. When she asked, “How do you spell it?” he replied, “My mother helps me.”

No Comments

2 Steps

Posted by admin under Random Jokes

The Duke of Gloucester, speaking at a luncheon in London: “A home accidents survey which showed that ninety percent of accidents on staircases involved either the top or the bottom step, was fed into a computer. Asked how accidents could be reduced, the computer answered: “Remove the top and bottom steps.”

No Comments

Sugar Or No?

Posted by admin under Food Jokes

Staying at a small-town hotel, Tom ordered tea. Shortly after wards, a girl threw open the door. “Sugar in your tea?” she shouted. “No, thank you,” Tom replied. “Ah, well, don’t stir it then.”

No Comments

Until The Next Baby

Posted by admin under Husband Wife Jokes

After they had brought their first baby home from the hospital, a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. “I’m busy,” he said. “I’ll do the next one.” The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers. […]

No Comments

The Better Half

Posted by admin under Political Jokes

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, annoyed at legislation that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS. Many prominent local politicians were outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology […]

No Comments

Discounted Imprisonment

Posted by admin under Lawyer Jokes

A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, “How many times have you been imprisoned?” “Nine, you Honour.” “Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence.” “Maximum sentence?” said the defendant. “Don’t you give your regular clients a discount”?

No Comments

Feeding Elephants

Posted by admin under Animal Jokes, Drunk Jokes

A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window. “Excuse me,” said the woman sitting next to him. “But, would you mind explaining why you’re doing this?” “It scares away the elephants,” replied the drunk. “But I don’t see any elephants around here,” […]

No Comments