4 In Volkswagen

Posted by admin under Blonde Jokes

Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagen?
A: Far-from-thinkin

No Comments

I…I…I…

Posted by admin under Husband Wife Jokes

Husband to wife as they emerge from a long session with a marriage guidance counsellor: “Darling, I love ¬†you.”
“There you go again,” snapped his wife. “I…I…I…again.”

No Comments

Bhagwan Residence

Posted by admin under Indian Jokes

A poor man sat begging outside a temple.
“In the name of Bhagwan give this hungry man some money to fill his belly,” he cried. “Bhagwan will bless you.”
But the devotees gave him very little.
In disgust the beggar left the temple and sat outside a country liquor shop.
“A few paise in the name of Bhagwan,” he whined.
As customers came out of the shop in high spirits, many dropped rupee notes in his bowl.
Thanking God, the beggar said: “Hey Bhagwan, truly inscrutable are thy ways! You give one address but live in
another.”

No Comments

This Is Melvin

Posted by admin under Kids Jokes

Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework.
“Dad,” he asked, “What is the difference between “anger” and “exasperation”?”
“Well, son,” said his father, “I’ll give you a practical demonstration.”
His father picked up the phone and dialed a number.
“Hello,” said a voice at the other end.
“Hello,” said Ernie’s father. “Is Melvin there?”
“There is no one called Melvin here!” the voice replied. “Why don’t you look up numbers before you dial them?”
“You see?” said Ernie’s father. “That man was not at all happy with our call. But watch this!”
He then dialed the number again, and says, “Hello, is Melvin there?”
“Now look here!” the voice said angrily. “I told you there is no Melvin here! You have got a lot of nerve calling again!”
“Did you hear that?” Ernie’s father asked. “That was “anger”. Now, I will show you what “exasperation” is!”
He dialed once again. And on hearing the voice at the other end, Ernie’s father said: “Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me?”

No Comments

Dead For Ages

Posted by admin under Heaven, Hell

A man who had just died, arrived at heaven’s gate.
Before allowing him entry, St. Peter asked him if he’d ever loved a woman.
“No,” the man replied, “Not a single one.”
“Did you have a friend you cared for?”
“No.”
“Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature?”
“No.”
“What took you so long to get here?” asked a surprised St. Peter. “You’ve been dead for ages.”

No Comments

Fast Dancer

Posted by admin under Men, Women

A young soldier who was on a twenty four-hour pass went to a dance in town and there met an attractive young woman.
As they danced, he kept making passes at her but without much result.
Finally, he said, “Look sweetheart, I really go for you in a big way. But I don’t have much time. I have to be back in the morning. I’d sure like to speed things up between us.”
“But I am dancing as fast as I can,” she protested wide-eyed.

No Comments

Name Spellings

Posted by admin under Indian Jokes, Teacher Jokes

A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the first time and she asked him his name.
“Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah,” he said.
When she asked, “How do you spell it?” he replied, “My mother helps me.”

No Comments

2 Steps

Posted by admin under Random Jokes

The Duke of Gloucester, speaking at a luncheon in London: “A home accidents survey which showed that ninety percent of accidents on staircases involved either the top or the bottom step, was fed into a computer.
Asked how accidents could be reduced, the computer answered: “Remove the top and bottom steps.”

No Comments

Sugar Or No?

Posted by admin under Food Jokes

Staying at a small-town hotel, Tom ordered tea.
Shortly after wards, a girl threw open the door.
“Sugar in your tea?” she shouted.
“No, thank you,” Tom replied.
“Ah, well, don’t stir it then.”

No Comments

Until The Next Baby

Posted by admin under Husband Wife Jokes

After they had brought their first baby home from the hospital, a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers.
“I’m busy,” he said. “I’ll do the next one.”
The next time the baby was wet, she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers.
He looked puzzled. “Oh,” he replied finally. “I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”

No Comments